With the help of useful resources, anybody can learn how to be better at social situations and building self-confidence.
However, there are three major skills that will not only work to improve your social life but can drastically change your quality of life once they become habits.
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We put together a guide to understanding these social skills training tips and how to implement them in your social life.
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The Three Most Power Social Skills Training Tips
This social skills training course is truly life-changing.
Listen To Learn
It’s important to understand the difference between hearing and listening.
When we listen to other people, sometimes we see listening as “waiting my turn to speak” time. This is unhealthy, to say the least, especially when you consider that other people do this when they listen to you as well.
When we listen, especially in moments of conflict, we can settle disputes with much more ease.
For example, say someone you care about tells you, “I don’t like when you make fun of me in front of your friends. I feel like you’re bullying me.” If your immediate response is “I’m not bullying you and you’re being too sensitive,” then you probably aren’t listening to learn.
Despite how you feel about the times you’ve been with this person around your friends and never felt you were being mean, that’s this person’s experience.
The key to understanding the difference between a good and bad listener is to understand what they focus on.
A bad listener is listening so they can immediately rebuke or explain their own experience. A good listener is listening so they can learn about the other person’s perspective.
The good listener’s response to “I don’t like when you make fun of me in front of your friends. I feel like you’re bullying me.” would be something like “Can you tell me about a time that I bullied you?” or “Was it the way I said something or what I actually said?”
Asking questions not on makes the other person feel listened too, but it also opens up rooms for healthy dialogue and conflict resolution.
Remind yourself that a great listener doesn’t listen so they can spew dialogue– they listen to learn more and absorb knowledge.
Use This Method To Figure Out If You Have Friendship Potential
Polite conversation is great for a little bit, but it’s not the most vulnerable thing on the planet and if you’re an introvert, you probably hate it.
In order to figure out if someone could be a valuable friend, you have to get vulnerable with each other. Learning how to be vulnerable is an important aspect of social skills training.
People experience the following emotions on a basic level:
Even if you may not like the same things, you might experience the same handful of emotions frequently.
Have you ever had a short-lived friendship with someone who liked all the same things as you but was completely emotionally unavailable to you? It sucks, and it helps immensely to try to find things that evoke emotions that you both tend to experience.
For example, say you’re at a party and talking to Jim, an acquaintance. Jim is majoring in mathematics, and you are majoring in art.
The conversation starts off polite, which is okay. But if you sit in a vapid conversation with someone about school, graduation, etc., then nobody is going to get anything out of it.
Instead, use that great “listen to learn, don’t listen to respond” technique we talked about earlier.
Try this step-by-step method to figure out the emotional compatibility of someone you’re talking to:
- Provide your own emotional information and be clear.
- Ask them about and search for their emotional information through good listening.
- Dig deep and gain an understanding of how they process things and think, up until you really grasp the emotion they’re describing.
- Share an experience you’ve had with this emotion.
Use “what” often– ask Jim what he likes about math, what made him want to get into mathematics, and what worries him about his field.
What you’re doing here is asking them what makes them feel or think a certain way and if you can connect with them.
If you can share emotional interests with someone, even if you like completely opposite things, you truly have the potential for a loving, healthy friendship or relationship.
Use This Skill To Think Of More Stuff To Say
It sucks when the conversation hits a wall, but you’re really enjoying talking to each other. This is natural and happens to everybody, but it inevitably leads to an awkward silence.
Essentially, the basics of the Neverending Conversation involves using any one of the following methods:
- Become more conceptual and less niche.
- Get really specific and more detailed in the conversation subject.
- Try to think of topics that relate to the current conversation.
Easy enough, right? It takes practice, but it works.
Say you’re talking to someone you like about football. You have absolutely no interest in football, but you want to connect emotionally with this person and learn more about them.
You’ve run out of things to say and the conversation hit that wall. Oh no!
Think of anything related to football, whether it be a specific relation or a broad association with football. You could change the subject to sports in general, another sport that you know more about, news about famous football players, scandals that football players have been in, scandals and morality in general, etc.
Do what is more comfortable for you. So you like broad concepts or talking about things with great detail?
You really can segue a conversation into something less awkward without being abrupt, but the key is to try your best to do this before the conversation gets to that awkward silence. Doing so keeps the conversation fluid and active, leaving everyone involved in the conversation happy and willing to have another conversation again.
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