Lack of Self-Confidence? Mastering Self Control Helps

Do you ever notice that successful people are also often very self-confident? How are they always so confident about themselves? Do they know that things will always go there way? Learn how they do it…

While it may seem that their success has bred this confidence, a number of studies have shown that people with more self-confidence are actually more likely to be prone to success.


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But if you suffer from a lack of self-confidence, you may be feeling like success is out of your reach.

Luckily, there are ways to boost your self-confidence in all areas of your life that can help you feel more confident in yourself and your abilities. One of those ways is by developing self-control.

A recent study by psychologists at George Mason University and Case Western Reserve University found that people who practiced self-control, and even those who practiced so-called “overcontrol,” reaped a number of benefits, including a boost in self-confidence, increased happiness, better grade point averages, less binge eating and alcohol abuse, better relationships, and more.

In fact, self-control is so important that having it may help you reach success even more so than self-confidence can.

A group of researchers in New Zealand followed one thousand participants from the time they were born until they turned thirty-two-years-of-age. The results showed that people who lacked self-control as children were three times as likely to experience problems as adults. These people were more likely to have criminal records, experience financial instability, or to be single parents.

Luckily, even if you weren’t born with strong self-control skills, you can practice and develop them at any point during your life.

Not sure where to start? Check out these tips to help you master self-control and fix your lack of self-confidence.

Identify Problem Areas

Before you start working on your self-control, you need to determine which areas of your life you’d like to work on. To do this, you need to decide what is causing your lack of self-confidence.

Are you uncomfortable with your body? Do you feel unsuccessful at your job? Do you have an addiction you’d like to kick?

Figuring out the root of your problem is essential if you want to try and overcome it. Once you’ve determined where you lack confidence, you then need to think about what you can improve upon.

If you feel embarrassed about a certain part of your body or at your lack of physical skills, you might set a goal to limit how much junk food you eat, how many times your visit the gym, or how long you run or walk after work.

If you’re lacking confidence at work, you might consider choosing to read books related to your field instead of watching TV at night. Or you might try saving money by cutting out unnecessary expenses like movie tickets or video games in order to instead spend money to attend training or seminars related to your career.

Quitting an unhealthy habit like excessive drinking or smoking is a great way to not only develop your self-control but also to increase your self-confidence.

Tackle One Problem at a Time

While it may seem like a good idea to try to make one large life change rather than several smaller ones, you may be undermining your success by doing so.

A study by Shmueli & Prochaska examined participants who tried to start a weight loss diet or cut out sweets while also trying to quit smoking. The results showed that those who were resisting sweets were much more likely to continue smoking.

This same mindset is true for any major goals that you set.

Taking on too much at once makes you more prone to falling off the bandwagon. Instead, try focusing on improving just one area of your life at a time, and then gradually add in other goals one at a time as you adjust.

Studies have shown that people who practice self-control actually find that they are happier than those who choose to indulge. Over time, you’ll notice that self-control and avoiding temptations can lead to increased satisfaction, which will help make it easier to stick to your goals and to add new ones.

Replace Your Bad Habits With Healthy Ones

When it comes to fixing your lack of self-confidence, it isn’t enough to simply get rid of old habits. If you’re going to make the changes stick, you’ll need to replace them with new habits.

There are a number of healthy habits that you can learn while developing self-control.

Sometimes the habit you’re trying to change naturally leads to a healthier habit. Like mentioned above, choosing to lose weight or become more physically active leads to developing healthy eating habits and exercise routines.

But if you’re trying to kick an addiction, you may need to get creative with the healthy habits you replace old ones with.

Meditation is a great way to get your mind in the moment, and also to get your mind off of the things that are tempting you.

Exercise has also been proven to help people kick unhealthy habits like smoking. When you start feeling the urge to smoke, trying taking a walk or run, or hitting the gym.

Understand Your Limits

The fear of failing and losing self-control is often what causes a lack of self-confidence in the first place.

But no one is perfect, and accepting that you will mess up every once in a while is essential to building self-control and self-confidence.

When trying to quit a bad habit or build a healthy one, you will likely revert back to your old ways occasionally. If you feel like a failure when this happens, you’ll be much more likely to continue in those old habits and abandon your goals.

Instead, create a plan for what you’ll do when you do mess up before it happens.

For instance, if you’re worried that you may cheat on your diet, give yourself an ultimatum, like going to the gym after work if you eat a donut in the breakroom or eating a salad for dinner if you indulge at lunch.

If you are trying to quit smoking or drinking to excess and you mess up and indulge, try reminding yourself why you decided to quit in the first place.

Think about how good it will feel when you quit the habit for good, and visualize that rather than thinking about your failure. This will help you get motivated to continue practicing self-control and will help you continue on the path of improving your lack of self-confidence.

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