In this article, our goal is to show you how to overcome fear and anxiety in 30 seconds. Fear is something that I’m familiar with because I grew up with a lot of it. We all have fear and that’s ok…
I was a video gamer so I just, you know, protect myself from fear just by spending all my time by myself at home and find the computer where I’d be totally safe, and sure enough I had goals I had desires. You know it when I was young in high school I wanted to meet women and have a girlfriend things like that, but my fear kept me back my fear paralyzed me and I also remember, you know, being in high school whenever the teacher would call upon me to say something in class, I was just always freaking out I would have a panic I mean that I remember some times i would ask to go to the bathroom or excuse myself for my face would turn red and get embarrassed. I was horrible at public speaking so I made an incredible transformation and to all many extends I’ve been able to overcome fear.
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Now I believe that fear is natural, fear is something that we all experience and really it’s hardwired into us as humans and it’s a good thing because fear keeps us alive here, it is there to keep us safe to protect us, you know, we need to have a comfort zone in some way because you know that’s what has kept us for thousands of years running away from dinosaurs and things like that.
Fear is a good thing as long as you know how to control it
So fear is a good thing, however, in certain circumstances you need to learn how to overcome fear, to use fear to your advantage and not have that fear stop you. You know there’s a great book- feel the fear and do it anyway- so like it says in the book you know we all have fear you need to feel it but you still need to do it anyways you can’t let that fear hold you back, you can’t let it stop you. So I have a few things to share on this subject and I think it will really help you in overcoming fear so that it is not holding you back in your life and you can start to take action moving forward.
It’s ok to have Fear
The first thing I want you to understand is that fear is an emotion, ok, fear is an emotion, it is a state, it’s an emotional state that we experience and it’s really not different from happiness or anger or frustration or confidence or inner peace or whatever, it is all different emotional states, all different feelings that we experience. And in order to experience certain emotional states there’s a certain pattern that we all experience in our bodies, in our minds and in our language that basically put us in that state of mind of fear and whatever emotions that we have.
You know, if you studied neuro linguistic programming which I got my practitioner certification not too long ago, it talks a lot about, you learn a lot about emotional states, emotional patterns and how we are the ones that are in control of these emotions. You know, a lot of people believe that I feel fear and I feel angry and frustrated and all that, because of external sources, we believe that’s because of your boss or is because of this thing or the recession or the economy and that’s just something that triggers it.
You have 100% Control Over Fear
However, that fear of those emotions are something that you have a hundred percent control over, you have no control over the outside world but you have a hundred percent control of your inner world and what this mean you have a hundred percent control of how you decide to use your body, how you decide to use your focus and how you decide to use your language and these are all three things that radically change the ways that we feel.
So let me ask you a question right now, if you’re in that fearful state if you have fear or anxiety or however you want to describe it, what’s your body like when you have fear?
Because we all have a certain pattern and you know it’s a lot of things are very universal but for some people it could be a little bit different, but if I were to ask you if you could remember a time in your life when you felt fear, you felt anxiety, felt scared to do something maybe it was a goal, a business, public speaking whatever it is, you know, if you were to ask yourself how you use your body in that moment, what would it be?
My guess is that if you’re fearful you’re scared, if you were to go back to that moment your physiology might be, you know, slightly slow just over, you know, maybe you’d be kind of more closed off in your body. Maybe your breathing would be very shallow, you know, what would that expression be on your face, you know, these are all things that affect how we feel now you might sit and think that sounds very simple and it is but how we use our body or physiology affects how we feel.
You know, emotion is created by motion and so, you know, if you took any person that is scared or fearful there’s a certain physiology to them as a certain way they’re using their body, maybe they have tension in their body, their shoulders are down, you know, the breathing is shallow, they are looking down. If I were to take myself when I was young and shy and you were to say to me, go talk to that girl over there, I would immediately go into a state of fear and I’d be very shy and that’s very closed off and, you know, I’d be looking down, I couldn’t keep good eye contact my voice would be quiet there’s a certain physiology to that there’s a physiology to the fear.
Be Aware of How You are Using Your Body When You have Fear
So that’s the first thing I want you to look at is how are you using your body when you are fearful, when you are scared. The second part is what you focus on what do you have to think about that makes you feel fearful, you know, because I can almost guarantee that if you have a state of fear and you’re accessing that emotion, it’s because you’re focusing on certain things that are making you feel that way.
You know, I admit it, I’ll just use the example of me you know trying to talk to a girl when I was younger, uh you know, so if you’re saying, hey you know, go talk to that girl over there and be scared and fearful. What would I be focusing on?
Well you know she’s probably not going to like me, I’m probably gonna get rejected, it’s not gonna work out, probably gonna fail, I am gonna embarrass myself in front of everybody, she probably has a boyfriend, she’s going to tell me the f off you know I have all these thoughts going through my head which is what I’m focusing on the more that I focus on that of it not working out and the worst-case scenarios the more fear i’m going to feel, okay that makes sense.
So your focus is also another core component of what’s going to determine how you feel, but not just your focus, but how you represent things to yourself in your mind. You know, we learn this in neuro-linguistic programming that the images that we make, the size of them, the color, the shape, the distance, all these things are called sub modalities, all amplify and intensify different emotions because focus, when you focus on things you are really just making pictures in your mind ok.
What Do You Focus On When You Have Fear
So what do you focus on, what kind of thoughts and things do you focus on to feel that fear. And the third piece is what kind of words to use, what kind of language patterns to use, what do you say to yourself, you know, it’s not going to work out, she’s not going to like me, I’m not good enough for her all those words all those phrases also produce different emotions as well, so when you understand that fear is just a pattern, fear is a state you have total control of that and you can shift it you can change it, and so what I’d like to invite you to do, you can maybe listen to me first but what i’d like to invite you to do is that any time you notice yourself experiencing that state of fear and you feel those emotions is to immediately change those three factors that i just mentioned ok.
What’s the Opposite of Fear?
So if I were to ask you right now, you know, what’s the opposite of fear?
You know maybe you’d love to experience confidence or certainty in your body and if I were to ask you how would you stand or use your body if you feel comfortable. You felt relaxed you felt confident and certain what would that physiology look like?
You know, likely your head would be a bit be back your shoulders up maybe a smile on your face, a certain look in your eyes, you know a way that you’re breathing maybe it’s more full, maybe there’s more relaxation in your body, hand gestures with your voice is louder, better eye contact.
Focus on the Positives to Gain Confidence
Again confidence, certainty, relaxation, there’s a certain physiology of a certain body language that also. If, you know, we’re totally fearless and you’re totally confident, what would you be focusing on? What kind of thoughts what you have? Just an example of, you know, me trying to go talk to a girl I’ll use that again, you know, I could probably if I was confident and relaxed, I probably think about well she’s going to love me, you know, why wouldn’t she want to meet me?
Only with Fear there’s Courage
Or you know I’m going to add value to her I’m going to make her day better I’m going to leave her better off for having met me or, you know, I’m amazing, i’m good enough, you know, everybody wants to meet me, you know. So having a different focus your thoughts and your focus is much much different when you’re confident.
And the last piece, what kind of words, what kind of language. So if you’re confident what would you say to yourself? What kind of words or phrases would you use? You know i might be I can do this or this will work out or I can make this happen, you know, what is the words and the phrases that will empower you as opposed to the ones that limit you.
So those three factors of your state, your emotions of this pattern of how you use your body your focus and your language and also known as the triad which Tony Robbins talks about as well as in neuro linguistic programming is called your emotional triad, you know, what would that be for you if you’re confident?
Know that You are in Control of Your Physical State
And what I suggest for you to overcome this fear is to recognize that you’re in control of your state and you can put yourself in the state in any moment that you want any moment that you decide.You know, I’m really big into having morning rituals and every day I put myself into a certain state because i like to condition it so that it becomes part of me.
The More You Focus on the Fear the Less Power You Have
The more that you think about in your head the worst that it gets and so you really need to be, uh you know, just can’t hesitate at all and just go for it and do it. But change your state first and recognize that, you know, if you catch yourself in a certain environment pay attention to your breathing, pay attention to the way you’re using your body, pay attention to the words and thoughts or focus that you’re seeing yourself and if you can do that, you’ll be able to have full control over your emotions now this fear and you’ll be able to use it to your advantage in order to get what you really want to do, whatever you want to do or experience whatever you want to experience in your life.