How to Find Out Who You Are and Start Living Your Life

how to find out who you are

We go through many difficulties in life. Dealing with death, navigating complicated relationships, and deciding what to do in difficult situations are all very human, very hard things we must all conquer.

But there’s another thing in life that’s really hard: Figuring out who you are and who you want to be.


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Trying to figure out the answer to this question is challenging, especially if you have low self-esteem.

It doesn’t have to be so hard. We put together a handy guide on how to find out who you really are to help you figure out the most important person in your life– you.

How To Find Out Who You Really Are

This guide simplifies a very difficult journey. Ask yourself these questions to help discover your true self.

If I was rich, how would I live differently?

Some people think that money can’t buy happiness. Others think that money can be a tool to finding things that make us happy.

This question is less about monetary gain and more about how we restrict our dreams and goals to fit our circumstances.

If your goal for a while has been something low-cost, you’re probably trying to find goals and aspirations that fit your particular financial standing instead of what you really, really want to do.

Make a list of things that you would adore doing if you had all the money in the world.

Do you want to live abroad and travel? Do you want to start a family?

Even if financial it is impossible to do these things, you can at least reveal to yourself what your true, deep desires are.

Learning what you really want to do and being honest with yourself is a great way to figure out how to find out who you really are. Having this conversation with yourself is also a great act of self-love as well.

What are your morals and values like?

When figuring out who you really are, you’re going to have to find out what your morals and values are in order to determine where you find happiness.

Values, by definition, are what you believe to be important elements in your lifestyle. Determining what helps you find happiness is a great way to really learn what truly makes you happy.

Once you discover what those personal values are, ask yourself if your everyday life is in sync with those values and morals.

Say you’re unhappy, and you want to know how to figure out who you really are.

That’s why you’re here, right? Your morals involve being kind to everyone you meet and your values include honesty and hard work.

If you find that you aren’t very kind to those around you and you are often dishonest and uninterested in working hard, your life isn’t matching your values. Once you do start to align yourself with those values, you can begin a loving relationship with yourself.

Still need help? This tool is great for figuring out and assessing one’s personal values.

What makes me happy?

This vague question can be difficult to answer, and you can only really flesh out the answer after you’ve figured out what your morals and values are.

Here’s an easy way to grasp this question:

  • Find out what your personal values and morals are. Example: Helping others at all costs.
  • Think about what you do, or what you could do, to stick to those values. Example: If you value helping others at all costs, could working as a missionary make you happy?

See how finding out your morals and values can make figuring out your priorities and how to find out who you really are way easier?

Outside of personal values and morals, try to reflect on your past.

Did you have dreams when you were younger that you abandoned because of a lack of confidence? Would you still want to follow that dream now?

What would you do if failure wasn’t possible?

Similar to the money question, it’s important to figure out what you would do if you couldn’t fail.

Everyone’s afraid of failure. The risk of failing at something, especially something we care about, can be a terrifying thing.

Have you ever wanted to drastically change your career? Have you ever wanted to pack up and move to a strange new place or return to college?

This is important– think really hard about what you could do if you didn’t have the fear of failure looming over your shoulder. Your answer might be life-changing.

Do you feel like you don’t have a personality?

This can be a painful thing to come to terms with. If you feel like you have an empty space inside or that your personality is very basic, it may be hard to love yourself.

Here are some things that compose a personality:

  • Hobbies
  • Interests
  • Goals
  • Personal values
  • Personal morals
  • Skills
  • Dreams
  • Fears
  • Passions

When you evaluate all of these, you are presented with some vital information. Ask yourself if these things fluid, or if you’ve had the same elements of a personality for a while.

Here’s where it can get scary– You have to try new things!

Trying new things, experiencing things, and stepping out of your comfort zone could have an unbelievably beneficial impact on your personality and your self-esteem.

This can be very simple to very difficult.

Do you have a favorite type of music? Listen to a bunch of genres you’ve never heard of before.

Do you admire artists but can only draw stick figures? Take an art class, or just dive right into experimenting with art in your own way.

Do you feel stuck in your college major? If you’re an engineering student, try taking one class in something related to nursing, history, or the arts.

Who knows? You may even discover something new that speaks to your heart.

Be You And Live Your Life

Finding out who you really are may seem scary, but once you start the journey, you’ll be glad you did.

Was our guideĀ on how to find out who you really are helpful? Tell us what you think in the comments below!

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