How the “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” Technique Can Help with Your Lack of Confidence

lack of confidence

Are you frustrated by feelings of lack of confidence, low self-esteem, and anxiety?

Do you wonder what is it that the most influential people possess that gives them the courage to address thousands or even millions of people without panic?


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What about successful entrepreneurs, do you wonder what gives them the drive to keep on churning out game-changing products that also pose risks to their business?.

For these people to succeed in what they do, they need to exude self-confidence. They need to believe in something that gives them the motivation to persist even in the face of failure.

They have an intrinsic power, an internal drive that tells them they can succeed no matter the level of fear. In simpler terms, they have self-confidence that is unchallengeable.

Increasing self-confidence will help you to succeed in almost every aspect of your life. From passing interviews to earning respect from your bosses and coworkers, increasing self-confidence will make everyone see the bright side of you.

But what do you do when confidence doesn’t come naturally? The best you can do is to fake it till you make it.

There are very few people in the world who are born confident. For the rest of us, we have to work to build it up through careful, mindful self-analysis and repeated effort.

Here are 6 tips on how the fake it till you make it technique can help to pull you out of your lack of confidence trauma.

1.  Adopt a confident body language

Adopting a certain body language can make you feel certain emotions that are associated with that body language.

Research has shown that the simple act of altering your body language can change the way you feel and think in certain situations.

If you find yourself in a situation that is triggering low power feelings, try this: stand straight, keep your head up, throw back your shoulders and try to maintain strong eye contact. Putting your hands on your hips can also work.

There is a reason some of these poses are associated with superheroes (think about Superman or Wonder Woman). To superheroes, these poses ooze confidence.

Doing these for few minutes can increase your testosterone levels (the dominance hormone) and at the same time reduce your levels of cortisol (the hormone responsible for stress)

When you walk, do so with purpose and a sense of direction.

When you are in direct contact with someone, avoid fidgeting or doing the small things most people do relieve tension, like toying with your phone or picking your nails.

Even when fear or lack of confidence begins to pile up, try to fake success with a relaxed smile on your face.

2. Act like an extrovert

Adopting a confident body language is not the only way to change your mental state. Studies show that acting like an extrovert even if you are not one can affect you positively as well as make the people around you happy.

These findings are from surveys conducted by hundreds of people in US, Japan, China, Philippines, and Venezuela.

Participants reported that acting in an extroverted way (even among introverts) boosted their happiness.

This implies that if you are normally a quiet person, faking outgoing behavior can have a positive impact on your inner self and boost your social confidence.

3. Dress the part

Lack of confidence can at times be attributed to a flaw in your demeanor.

If you are not dressed for the occasion, you’ll always have that mental picture of people judging you by your looks.

You don’t want to put yourself in a situation that will impart low power feelings. So put on your favorite suit, wear your most admired shoes, even wear your most expensive jewelry if you want to be confident.

Make sure every aspect of your appearance make you feel confident–from your hair, the color of your attire, to the way your breath smells.

When you look good, you feel good, and that is the recipe for building confidence.

4. Shift from negative to positive thinking

Your thoughts determine your emotions, and your emotions determine your behavior. That being said, the power of positive thinking cannot be underestimated when it comes to building confidence.

Negative thoughts and feelings can bring you down and lower your confidence level. So if you want to build self-confidence, utilize the power of positive thinking.

One way of building self-confidence through positive thinking is through self-talk. Positive affirmations work great at replacing negative thoughts in your mind with hopeful prospects.

You must develop the habit of praising yourself for a job well done, for any progress made, or even for the little courage accumulated over time.

Creative visualization is another way of building confidence through positive thinking. It’s a form of focused daydreaming that allows you to envision your desired outcome.

If you are attending an interview, you would envision yourself answering all the questions in a concise manner that would impress the interviewer.

This way of thinking triggers your mind to visualize actions that need to be taken to achieve the desired results.

5. Focus on your strengths

The best way to fake it till you make it is to find the confidence that is based on achievements and truths. If you are suffering from lack of confidence, you might want to focus on your strengths first.

Grab a piece of paper and jot down a list of things you like about yourself.

Include things such as “I am good at public speaking”, “I am a people person”, “I am good at solving problems”. Also, include those qualities that have earned you credits from your peers.

Stacy Kaiser, a psychotherapist and relationship expert advises that looking at that list regularly is an easy way to build true and lasting self-confidence.

Focusing on your strengths helps you to overcome fear and anxiety especially when you are feeling like you’ve lost it.

6. Smiling overcomes lack of confidence

Things will not always come out as expected, and at times you will feel nervous and shy.

Smile even if you are not in the mood. You’ll realize that most confident people tend to be positive and friendly.

A single act of smiling releases brain chemicals that make you feel better, and might go a long way to easing your nervousness.

Once you’ve mastered all these tips, lack of confidence will soon be a thing of the past.

And once you show confidence in all your endeavors, people will have no other option but to think of you as confident.

And the good thing about showing confidence is that the more you do it, the more confident you become.

What other tips do you know of building confidence in the midst of fear and nervousness? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.

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