It’s not uncommon to find yourself taking every comment that people make personally.
We all know what it’s like. You hear a coworker complaining about someone slacking, and assume they mean you. Your friend complains about someone and you worry that they mean you.
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It’s definitely not healthy, but it’s also tough to avoid taking things personally. A lack of confidence is almost always to blame.
If you’re feeling bad about yourself, it’s easy to imagine that others are as well. Insecurities in your personal life, work life, or home life can lead you to jump to conclusions.
Insecurities can even leave you taking people’s actions, no matter how small, personally.
Luckily, there are plenty of ways to reduce your insecurities. As a result, you’ll also be able to stop taking things personally.
With the tips in this confidence course, you’ll learn to overcome your insecurities. The more you learn to overcome them, the more you’ll build your self-confidence.
Getting to the Root of the Problem
The first step in learning how to stop taking things personally is to figure out why you’re doing so.
This problem is more than likely rooted in some insecurity that you have. To figure out where your insecurity lies, you’ll need to get to the root of the problem.
Think about the things that people are saying or doing that are making you feel insecure.
Maybe your boss seems to be treating you differently. Or he or she is being more friendly with your coworkers than they are with you.
If you’re noticing these things more than usual, it might be a sign that you’re feeling insecure.
Or, maybe you’ve gone on a few dates where you haven’t connected with the other person as much as you hoped to.
You might be worrying that it was something that you did or said. Your insecurity might be rooted in a lack of self-confidence in your social skills.
Figuring out what areas you’re lacking confidence in will help you overcome your insecurities.
Facing Your Insecurities
Once you’ve figured out where your insecurities are, it’s time to face them head on.
To overcome your insecurities, you need to figure out what’s causing them.
Oftentimes, a person’s insecurities are caused by their families and peers. If you’re surrounded by successful people, you might feel pressure to be more successful.
If you’re taking the things your boss says personally, your insecurity might come from a lack of training.
If you’re feeling insecure about a few bad dates, there could be several causes. The media has a way of creating unfair expectations of how we should look. This can make it easy to be insecure in your appearance.
If your insecurity is coming from a lack of social skills, brush up on your conversation skills.
A Confidence Course on Learning Not to Take Things Personally
Congrats! You’ve gotten to the root of your insecurities. Now it’s time to start building the skills you’ll need to move past them.
Overcoming your insecurities starts with building confidence. This confidence course is the perfect place to start.
It’s always a good idea to start with something simple.
When you hear or see something that you might take personally, take a deep, cleansing breath.
As you breathe in and out, remind yourself of everything in your life that you are confident about.
If you’re at work, think about how you were successful in getting hired to begin with. Or about recent promotions or awards you’ve received. Remember any other aspects of your work that you’re proud of.
If you’re on a date, think about the skills and experiences you have that you’re proud of. Try turning the conversation towards your areas of expertise. Or, keep it on neutral, but easy to navigate, ground.
Think it Through
As you’re taking those deep breaths, think through the situation. Try thinking about the specific details that are making you insecure.
Maybe the thing that you’re taking personally isn’t about you at all.
If you’re feeling insecure about yourself, it’s easy to imagine everyone else thinking about that too.
But it’s pretty unlikely that they are. In fact, the things that we take personally are almost never actually personal.
Rather than assuming another person’s comments were directed at you, think through the situation.
Consider other meanings that their words might have had. Think about other people or situations that they might be referring to. Open up your mind to the idea that you might be completely misreading the situation.
Let it Go
If after taking a few breaths and thinking it through you find that you aren’t sure it was about you, let it go.
Let go of your worries about what others are thinking about you. Let go of your insecurity about yourself.
The sooner you move past the moment, the easier it is to let it go. It will also be easier to not jump to conclusions the next time.
Talk to the Other Person
Sometimes after thinking it through, you’ll still be confused. It might be tough to figure out whether a comment really was aimed at you.
The first thing you’ll want to do is try to move past the situation. If it was only one instance, and you think that you can move past it on your own, do so.
If you find that you can’t move on, you might want to try talking to the other person.
Keep your mind open and stay calm when you address them. Jumping to conclusions and getting angry will only lead to misunderstandings.
Ask the other person to clarify what they said or did. If you still think that it was directed at you, ask if you’ve done something to hurt or offend them.
If they answer that you have, be open to learning something from the situation.
While it might be embarrassing to admit that you were wrong, doing so can help you build confidence. It’ll help you overcome insecurities in the future, too.
Keep Your Confidence in Mind the Next Time
It’s a great idea to learn to apply these tactics each time you find yourself feeling insecure.
The more you build your self-confidence, the less likely you’ll be to take things personally.
You’ll feel less insecure with yourself. You’ll begin to realize that the comments you hear or the actions you see couldn’t be directed at you. You’ll think through situations quickly, and move on even faster.
If you still find yourself feeling insecure, check out some more confidence courses.